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A Valentine’s Scrooge

Cupids, lovebirds and romantics of the world, please be warned, I am about to poop on your parade.

I hate Valentine’s Day.  Here’s why:

1. It exists solely for the purpose of selling crap. Cards, candy and overpriced flowers.

2. It presumes to order to you express your love.

3. It sets unreasonable expectations for the romantic types and routinely ends in hurt feelings and sadness.

4. It creates an atmosphere of love competitiveness. (Whoever sends the prettiest flowers wins?)

5. Too many people pronounce it “Valentime’s” Day.

If you and your (ahem) Valentine choose to celebrate this pink and red sparkly holiday, then good on you.  If you choose to set this day aside to celebrate your love, then who am I to deny that?  However.  I take umbrage to any holiday that purports to celebrate love and ends up creating so much sadness.  Single people, people who have lost their loved ones, mismatched couples with one Valentine and one non-Valentine, the list goes on.  Valentine’s Day does not make us all warm and fuzzy.  And if you may be thinking that I’m just bitter…nah.  I have a “Valentine”.  He doesn’t give me cards, candy, flowers or gifts on February 14.  I don’t believe we’ve bothered to tell each other Happy Valentine’s Day today.  We choose not to celebrate it.  All day long I’ve listened to Valentine nonsense and I’m weary of it.  (Again…if you and your significant other participate, I mean no offense.  Have at it. Quietly.)

So, since I’m not on the receiving end of any Valentine’s goodies, how do I feel loved and appreciated?

1. After eighteen years of me, he’s still here.  And seems to be pretty darn happy about it.

2. He makes my coffee every morning.

3. If I say I’m tired, he says, “Well, why don’t you go to bed and I’ll take care of (whatever I’m doing)?”

4. When I lose my temper and say things I shouldn’t, he ignores it.

5. If a pretty girl walks by, he says she’s not as pretty as me.

6. If I lose ten pounds, he says I’m too skinny. (‘Too skinny’ has never been a problem of mine and I know he’s full of it, but it’s nice to hear, anyway.)

7. He rolls over when he’s sleeping because he knows I can’t sleep if he’s facing me.  (I know I’m a freak. Whatever.)

8. He buys me really nice Mother’s Day presents because that’s a fake holiday I can really get behind.

9. He lets me be bossy.

10. Did I say he’s still here?!

These are the things that matter, more than any extravagant gesture he could make on any given Valentine’s day.  I suspect that a great many of you are thinking to yourselves, well, I have all that and I get pretty flowers, too!  Yes, I’m sure you do and I hope you all really do appreciate your great fortune in love.  But don’t ever forget how very lucky you really are.  For those who have lost their loves or haven’t yet found their loves, maybe chocolates and flowers aren’t the goal and we shouldn’t encourage that kind of thinking.  What you really need is someone who will bring you tea when you have the flu.  Someone who will love you even if you gain fifty pounds.  Someone who wants to kiss you even if you haven’t brushed your teeth yet.

Life is not pretty.  Why should we expect love to be?

  1. Barb Strimple
    February 14, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    Even though your Daddy gave me candy I told him not to and shared it with him cause it was OUR candy. We so agree with your feelings. I have a man that has wanted to be beside me for over 42 years. Hurray cause I have gained 50 lbs. 🙂

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