Randomized

I apologize in advance.  I feel like this post is a copout.  But the truth of the matter is, it’s been a long week.  Not only am I tired, but I also I have frizzled brain cells and a marked lack of focus.  I very much want to share with you, my faithful readers, some of the things on my mind.  The problem arises with my aforementioned brain dysfunction.  I no longer have what it takes to compose a thoughtful and/or insightful blog post.  Actually, I’m rather impressed with my ability to form complete sentences, aren’t you?

So, since I want to empty my head, yet am currently unable to deliver the well-crafted post that you so richly deserve, I shall give you the next best thing.  Please enjoy the cluttered, disorganized, stream of consciousness list of things that have been knocking around in the old noggin this week.

A stellar combination

• Chantix commercials will have you believe that people decide to stop smoking because they can keep smoking when they start Chantix.  That sentence doesn’t even make sense to me, so I’ll give you a minute to process.  They decided to quit smoking so they could keep smoking.  Assuming that you’re an adult person who can afford to buy a pack of smokes, you can keep on smoking for as long as you like.  You don’t need Chantix’s permission.  Also, depression, behavioral changes and suicidal thoughts are possible side effects, and that’s SO much better than smoking. I’m not advocating smoking.  It’s a filthy, stinky habit that is damn near impossible to quit.  I’m JUST SAYING.
• Febreze now has car air freshener clippy things.  You can get two for around three bucks at Walmart and they are spectacular.  Particularly if your car generally smells like you’ve been taking Chantix. I recommend Linen & Sky.
  

  Smells like someone's been laundering my car.

 

• People who say, “I’m sorry to keep bothering you,” don’t mean it.  If they were sorry, they wouldn’t bother you in the first place and they certainly wouldn’t continue.
• If you search for Imagine by John Lennon on Pandora, you may well have to listen to that channel for two days before you actually get to hear Imagine by John Lennon.  In the meantime, you could be treated to Hotel California at least twice, which is as puzzling as finding Journey on your Beastie Boys channel.  I love you, Pandora, but you’re not there yet.
  

  The only place in the world where Eagles are like Beatles.

 

• I drink three bottles of water at work every day.  If I fail to finish all three, or, heaven forbid, drink only two, I will be thirsty all night and no amount of water can fix the damage done.  That’s right.  I am a finely tuned machine.  Or possibly an amphibian.
• It’s almost impossible for me to not to adopt the speech patterns of someone I’m around for extended periods of time.  I’ve not yet determined if this is a universal phenomenon or if I am just incredibly susceptible to the power of suggestion.  I’m aware that this is a pretty well-known manipulation to make people feel more comfortable around you, but since I’m not well known for that particular concern, I am forced to believe that I’m just an interrogator at heart.  Stay tuned for the waterboarding.

Thank you all for sticking it out during my indulgent little nonsensical post.  A good night’s sleep and the promise of a boring day at work tomorrow may just bring a clever and cohesive post.  Fingers crossed, anyway.

 

photo credits: www.chantix-injuries.com, www.thedirtytshirt.com, www.finnmediacompany.com