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My Special Eyes

I worry about my eyesight a little bit.  I first got glasses in the fourth grade, when I got in trouble for being on my knees in my chair, straining over the shoulder of the kid in front of me.  No, I wasn’t looking at his paper, I was desperately trying to see the board.  And so it began, glasses and contacts for life.  You know, in the eighties, there weren’t nearly as many cute options for glasses as there are now.  I recently took my daughter for her first pair of glasses (which she only needs for school, we should all be so lucky) and I was amazed at all the stylish and adorable frames.  It was enough to make me want to time travel back to 1984 to tear those old granny glasses off my face and replace them with the cutie purple square frames. 

I got contact lenses in seventh grade and never looked back.  It was a rocky road, because I had terrible seasonal allergies.  In case you weren’t aware, this can create huge layers of gunk to build up on your contacts.  Again, I’m dating myself, but back then we didn’t have disposable lenses.  You got one pair and you had to make them last until your next appointment.  I don’t know what kind of vision insurance my parents had, but it can’t possibly have been enough to cover all the heartache caused by my jacked up eyes back then.  But they get props, because they never complained, they just took me to repeated optometrist visits until we found something that would work for me.  What we finally found were hard little disks from the middle ages.  Rigid gas permeable, anyone?  But if you’ve ever been a twelve-year-old with coke-bottle glasses, you know that you’d be perfectly happy to put rocks in your eyes if it means you don’t have to wear glasses.

A love/hate relationship

So it’s fair to say that this has been an issue the vast majority of my life.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  It’s now really a non-issue.  I do now have access to cute glasses and disposable lenses, and since I’ve been correcting my vision for roughly a quarter of a century, it’s pretty much second nature.  But I will tell you what’s bothering me now.  Lasik.  I want Lasik some kind of bad.  But I can’t have it.  My vision, friends, is still getting worse.  And when I say my vision is bad, I don’t mean that I need glasses for driving or reading.  I mean that I’m lucky my shampoo and conditioner come in differently shaped bottles or I’d never manage to wash my hair.  I mean I only buy new glasses about once in every five years, because they have to use a special and uber-expensive process to make the lenses thin enough to fit in the frames.  And that doesn’t matter because I can’t actually wear my glasses outside of the house since I have zero peripheral vision in them.  Contact lenses aren’t really an option any more, I need them to see properly.

And it’s still getting worse?  I’m in my thirties!  Where can this be going?  How long will it be before my eye doctor just throws in the towel?  I already can’t read the first three charts at my checkup.  Am I slowly going blind?  What the hell??  I suspect that this is a direct result of my allergy to carrots.  Okay, I know that’s just a myth.  I’m grasping at straws because I can’t deal with something so far out of my control.  I know it’s pretty small potatoes considering some health issues, but it scares me because there is no end in sight.  (in sight, hardy har.  Also, Hubs says there are no small potatoes, only tater tots.)

I can go running to improve my heart.  I can take vitamins to boost my immune system.  I can drink water, eat my fruits and veggies, exercise and get plenty of sleep at night.  But I still can’t see a damn thing.  The only justice is that my children seem to have inherited Hubs’ mildly impaired vision instead of my dramatic nearsightedness.  I guess I’ll take that.  I wouldn’t wish this visual rollercoaster on anyone.  Well, that’s not true.  There are people I would wish it on, but certainly not my children.  That’s neither here nor there; what I need are some solutions.  Is there something you can do to improve your vision?  Or at least stop the downward spiral?  If I need to, I will put rocks in my eyes.

  1. Ashley
    April 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I, too, got glasses in the fourth grade! I was humiliated because I couldn’t read the overhead, so I was always relying on the kids next to me to show me what they copied down.

    I’m 24 now and would LOVE Lasik. Perhaps one day. 🙂

    • April 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

      I am anxiously awaiting the doctor appointment that results in no new prescription. I may be waiting a while. Thanks for reading, sorry you have to share my pain.

  1. July 6, 2012 at 9:04 am

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