Home > Uncategorized > Violating a Chicken and Other Fun Monday Stuff

Violating a Chicken and Other Fun Monday Stuff

I’ve been posting rather obsessively over the past couple of days, and if I haven’t run you off yet, then you know that I’m stuck at home today with sick kids and also I’m making chicken and dumplings for dinner tonight.  You also know that Monday is my house cleaning day.  (This is what I write about?  What am I doing?  Thank you for reading my nonsense.  If you’re eagerly anticipating an upcoming post about something that is not boring and humdrum, please accept my apologies in advance.)

So in the spirit of writing about unremarkable things, I feel moved to share with you all the interesting things that my Monday has brought.

  • My chicken began the day frozen solid.   I quick-thawed it in cold water, just enough to pull the sack o’ gizzards and innards out of the cavity before simmering for broth.  After forcing my hand up a half-frozen chicken’s rear, I discovered that this particular chicken didn’t have said sack o’ innards included.  When did this practice stop?  How long has it actually been since I bought a whole chicken?  I am a lazy, lazy woman who buys chicken in pieces.
  • I discovered a bathroom rug on top of the washing machine, which can only mean one thing.  Hubs discovered cat pee on a rug this morning.  Hello laundry and bathroom cleaning.  And, uh oh…
  • Litter box cleaning.  How can I have fallen out of my daily litter box scooping habit?  And why do I have a cat who misses the target ten times more often than either of the human males in this house?  Is this a problem specific to orange cats?  Because I have had two orange cats in my lifetime and they have both delighted in peeing on the edge of the litter box.  Then kicking a bunch of litter out of the box like I’m not going to notice it.  Hard to miss cat pee.  The nose knows.
  • Daytime TV is draining my intelligence and will to live.  I just actually saw “Trouser Snake” as an answer on the Family Feud.  I also heard a man on the same show quote his slogan for the funeral home where he works.  “You Stab ‘Em, We Grab ‘Em.”  Oh dear, it’s time to turn the Food Network back on.  Why do I never have anything good on the DVR for times like these?

It’s not all bad, though!  There have been good moments, too, just not while my hand was inside a chicken.

  • The boy just wandered into the kitchen and asked, “Mom, what is that delicious smell?”  This from the boy who generally believes the smell of any cooking food is gross, disgusting or, at best, unusual.  The boy who hides Febreze in his closet and douses himself in Axe regularly thinks my chicken broth smells delicious!  Winning!!
  • My daughter, the actual sick one, says she still feels awful, but she can talk now and she actually smiled a little while ago.  Also, no fever.
  • It’s an unseasonably cold and rainy day and I have not had to leave the property.  Actually, I wouldn’t have even left the house if I didn’t have to pick up the trash cans and get the mail.  Speaking of the mail, I only got one bill and it was one that I paid last Friday.  Hooray!
  • I watched several hours of court shows and now feel extremely satisfied and successful in regards to my marriage, the number of children that my babydaddy has and my lack of friends who borrow my car, then immediately wreck it.  Anyway, I don’t let people borrow my car.  It’s my car.  (full disclosure.  hubs and babydaddy are indeed one and the same.)
  • I have spent most of day on WordPress, amazed at my stats.  I shan’t reveal numbers, because I don’t want to embarrass myself.  But since I am still surprised that people read what I write, because I do not consider myself a writer, I am feeling awfully flattered and kind of like a minor internet sensation.

As I read other blogs and articles about important, profound things or exciting adventures, I feel a little guilty that I don’t have anything more exciting to offer you.  But, this is life and it just is what it is.  Some days it’s funny, some days it’s exciting, but mostly it’s just kind of dull and repetitive.  That frozen chicken might be the most exciting thing that happens to me today, and I’m sure to tell hubs about it when he gets home, but that’s okay.  There are things much worse than that in this world, so I’ll glory in my boring life.  And I shall try to make it interesting enough to write about.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,
  1. crabbymommy
    April 24, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Hi. Just came by and read your blog. I love the way you write and no matter that you don’t consider yourself a writer, you make a very good one. And, here’s the weird paradox – you don’t need to think about interesting stuff to write, because when you do, it does not really come out right, and if you don’t and just write everyday stuff that moms relate to, that’s when it touches a chord..

    • April 24, 2012 at 5:57 am

      Thank you for your kind words and encouragement!

  2. April 25, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    I haven’t seen chicken innards in ages. That could be a UK thing though, I don’t know. My husband cooked a rabbit the other day and the experience was… weird. And rabbitty. Glad everyone is on the mend! Thanks for reminding me that my chicken is still frozen! Yikes!

    • April 25, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      I’m told that some chickens have them, but it’s on the label. I only read the sale price. 😀 Rabbit…hmm…the only way I’ve tried it is the chocolate Easter variety. Those are delicious.

  3. April 30, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    The way you write is simply inspriring.. I feel like I have known you for years already! I feel your vibe ob the same old boring day and having the frozen chicken sans the innards as the highlight of the day.. I am a full time mom and most days for me are just like what your blog mentioned. I will be reading more of your work because you are, you accept it or not, a great writer.. all the best and God bless!

    • April 30, 2012 at 6:50 pm

      Oh my goodness, welcome to the inside of my head!! Thank you so much for your extremely kind words. I am quite sure I’ll be flying high on this lovely compliment for days.

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