Home > Uncategorized > They Told Me These Kids were SMART.

They Told Me These Kids were SMART.

My children are intelligent little beings.  They’re smart, clever and have memories like elephants.  They also sound like elephants when they run up the stairs, but that’s neither here nor there.  The point is, they’re smart.  They are capable of learning new things.  They have very long memories.  But at the ages of ten and twelve, they have not yet learned to do certain things without parental reminders.

These are the things they can’t learn.

  1. You must brush your teeth every morning.  Yes, even weekends.  Nighttime brushing is automatic, but morning brushing presents a serious memory lapse.
  2. You must bathe.  You know you’re going to have to shower.  Don’t make me tell you to do it and for the love of God, don’t argue about whose turn it is to go first.  Everyone will bathe.  (Hint:  if you go first, you’ll get more hot water. They haven’t figured this out yet.)
  3. You will empty the dishwasher when it’s done.  Groaning and protesting will only guarantee that I use the dishwasher far more often.
  4. A special one for my son.  You have karate class three times a week.  You have had class on the same days for five years.  Take your uniform!
  5. That place you go every day called school?  They give you homework.  You’re going to have to do it.  I won’t forget it, neither should you.
  6. Another one for the boy.  Flush. Every. Single. Time.
  7. For my daughter.  Brush your hair.  It only counts if you actually remove the tangles.
  8. Eat.  Your body is made to tell you when meal time is.  It’s not my job to remind you to eat lunch.
  9. Wash your hands.  Way more often than you do now.
  10. Wear a jacket when it’s cold outside.  Or you will be cold.

I have reached the point of motherhood where I just feel like I’ve said these things enough.  It should have sunk into their resistant little brains by now.  I worry about the state of their teeth and their homes when they move out on their own.  Or maybe I just worry that they’ll never move out on their own.  How can I possibly expect them to remember to pay rent if they can’t remember to eat lunch?  That may seem like a premature concern, but consider this.  I have spent (on average) eleven years trying to teach these things.  In another eleven years, they will be adults.  The clock is ticking.

  1. crabbymommy
    April 30, 2012 at 4:57 am

    I’ve been saying these words for about half the time that you have and I still feel it’s time someone understood what I mean!Agh, now I know that it’s not going to get better anytime soon and I shall remain the banshee that I’ve turned into for some 15 more years.

    Now where’s that chocolate the hubby got the other day? Suddenly feel the need for some.

    • April 30, 2012 at 8:49 am

      It’s my dearest hope that the hygiene issues, at least, will resolve themselves when they start getting interested in the opposite sex. If not, well, I’m sure there’s still some Easter candy around here somewhere…I’m going on a bunny hunt.

  2. Martha
    April 30, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Seriously.. what is with NOT wanting to brush your teeth your hair or wanting to bathe.. I don’t understand this.. like you are asking for them to clean their room or something… truly I have no concept of this issue it perplexes me .. if it helps you any..Lexi is the same way.. drives me crazy.. while I can usually bribe her in some way to get her to do it.. it is painful to accomplish…ugghhh???

    • April 30, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      What’s funny is when they try to lie about it. Dude, I can smell you!

  3. April 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I am beginning to think that my daughter just might be allergic to water 🙂 It’s crazy the way I have to get her bathed or to brush her teeth… I guess its the same for alot of moms…I am hoping it will end soon too…Do you think its coz we keeping pushing them on cleanliness and discipline or is it coz they are soooooo lazy that even our nagging can’t budge them?

    • April 30, 2012 at 6:53 pm

      I think they’re lazy, plain and simple. And they probably can’t smell their stinky little selves.

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