Home > Uncategorized > Breakfast Adventures, or Why Apples and Bananas Can’t Get Along

Breakfast Adventures, or Why Apples and Bananas Can’t Get Along

I have never been a breakfast eater, so if we follow this to its logical conclusion, then we know that I am also not a breakfast cooker.  I’m also not a morning person, and I am always, always rushed in the mornings, so my children are also not big breakfast eaters.  I am single-handedly keeping Cheerios and Quaker Instant Oatmeal in business.  About a year ago, we instituted “Special Breakfast Sundays,” just so my children could get a decent, home-cooked breakfast at least once a week. But sometimes, just sometimes, on Monday mornings I have a little extra time to throw together a decent and interesting breakfast for my kids.  It’s almost necessary for a little guy who has some sort of ailment every single Monday morning, because Monday mornings just suck.  A good breakfast can cure almost anything for this guy.  Mama’s special scrambled eggs, to the rescue.

This morning, McPicky didn’t want Mama’s scrambled eggs, but he just didn’t know what he wanted.  I was at a loss, until I spied the unpleasant battle going on in my fruit bowl.

Excuse me while I stray away from breakfast for a minute to talk about apples and bananas.  I like bananas.  I keep them around and I take them to work for my morning snack. (Our cleaning service is extremely reliable about the trash, if you have concerns.)  The problem is, I don’t like ripe bananas.  I scour the produce department for the very greenest bananas they have to offer.  I count on them to ripen very, very slowly, because I dislike multiple grocery trips and I need them to last all week.  I am very protective over my unripe bananas.  The number one enemy to my precious bananas has now been identified.  Apples.  You know how they say one rotten apple will spoil the bunch?  It’s true.  Also, three perfectly un-rotten apples will ripen my bananas.  Apples emit some mysterious chemical that ripens them after they’re picked, or so says Alton Brown, although it’s not a mysterious chemical to him, because his brain works better than mine.  That same poison ripens everything else in five foot radius (or possibly just in the same fruit bowl).  Hubs bought a few apples last week.  Why he did this is yet another mystery, because people around here love the idea of apples, but never actually eat them.  So now I’ve got these apples wreaking havoc upon my bananas.  The apples have to go, lest it becomes necessary to segregate the fruit bowl, and no one wants that kind of kitchen unpleasantness.

Cute, aren’t they? via foodchannel.com

Welcome my stroke of Monday morning seven a.m. genius.  Buddy Fruits.  Have you seen these?  They’re little pouches of pureed fruit that cast a spell over children far and wide.  Clever packaging will do it every time.  Plus, it’s your buddy!  Who can’t use a snack and a buddy?  My kids love them, but I don’t buy them very often because, let’s be honest, they’re plenty old enough to just eat fruit.  I think these are probably marketed for much younger children.  Aren’t we past the age where I have to trick them into eating good things?  Well, apparently not, but I have entered a glorious stage of making it work for me.  I offered McPicky a homemade buddy fruit!  Oh, yes, I am that awesome.  Not only did McPicky go for it, but even his big sister, Miss I-Don’t-Eat-Breakfast was up for it.  Aha!  I can fix a cool breakfast and get rid of those bothersome apples in one stroke.  Multi-tasking genius, I know.  I threw the devil apples, bananas, and a few strawberries in the food processor, fought with it for a good five minutes to get it locked down properly and pulsed away.  The result was…well, to be honest, the result looked very much like what my kitchen sink spits up when the garbage disposal backs up.  Also kind of like what I clean off the floor when the cats have been eating out of the trash can.

OMG, and I did this on purpose.

Now I guess I know why Buddy Fruits are packaged in clever little pouches.  Since I don’t happen to have little foil packets on hand, I threw the glop in a coffee mug with a spoon and hoped for the best.  The child who routinely tells me how very disgusting 95% of the food I serve looks, dug right into this disgusting, sink-vomit-looking mess with a smile.  They liked it, nay, they loved it and they were completely impressed with my awesomeness once more.

Chalk it up a Monday morning win for Mama.  The apples are gone, the children are fed and my bananas are safe yet again.  Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?  Excuse me while I go put my cape away.

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  1. Janyaa
    May 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    I love your writing and sense of humor! Sadly, I have to agree with your assessment on what the end result looks like. That picture is not very complimentary. But, hey! If it’s healthy and your kids will eat it, I don’t see a problem. 🙂

    • May 20, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Thank you, thank you! Yes, it’s true, that might be the most disgusting-looking thing I’ve ever made, but they did eat it. Wonders never cease. 😉

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