Home > Uncategorized > If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

Sometimes I, like you, have a bad day.  Today I was in a spectacularly bad mood.  The kind of mood that made me want to scream and cry at the same time.  The kind of mood that only a teenage daughter can bring out in her mother.

Since my company did not have the foresight to provide bad mood holidays, I had to interact with people today.  My coping device for this kind of situation is to withdraw.  I don’t want to discuss with my coworkers the myriad reasons that I’m considering selling my first-born on Ebay, nor do I want to accidentally abuse them for no good reason.  So I get quiet.  I get very, very quiet.  People know what this means.  Even if they haven’t overheard the twenty-seven phone calls punctuated with hissed threats, they know that I have a thing going on and it is not making me happy.  They see my grump face and the vein popping out of my forehead.  They could hardly overlook the green tinge my skin has taken on as my transformation into the Hulk progresses.

You would think, would you not, that they would appreciate my silence and avoid poking the bear?  They will not.  They will insist on making comments such as:  “Having a bad day?”,  “What do you have going on over there?”  or, most astute, “Shellie’s in a bad mood.”  You think?  Really?  Look, I am trying to make an attempt to be civil.  I will smile at your jokes.  I will make pleasant comments in something slightly more audible than a grunt.  I will not dump on you.  And all I ask of you is that you back the hell up off me for a minute.

This is something that many people don’t know, and I think they’d take a big step backward if they did.  I have a really nasty temper.  My silence is not pouting, it is a measure of my self-control.  When I fall silent, it is because there is a never-ending stream of mean and ugly stuff simmering right under the surface.  Once it’s released, it doesn’t care who it hits.  I am battling the crazy and the crazy is strong in this one.  Don’t taunt it.  Don’t invite it.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.  (I promise I will stop the Incredible Hulk references before I shred my britches.  Ha.  I love the word “britches.”)

Please, please, I beg of all of you.  When you see grump face paired with utter silence, it’s time to just step back.  Give me a minute.  I am probably not angry at you, but even if I am, we will both be happier to discuss it a little later.  You, because I will say mean things that I shouldn’t say out loud don’t mean.  Me, because I will probably cry like Ralphie in a Christmas Story fight while I say it.

This is not the time.  I am not suitable for public.  I can’t say anything nice, and that’s why I’m saying nothing at all.

  1. Chatter Master
    July 24, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    OH MY GOSH!!!! You just made me have full and total flash backs!!!! You just fully expressed what I always wanted to!!!!! Sorry that this produced laughter but I fully laughed out loud when you perfectly/accurately described my life a few years back!!!!!!!!!!

    And yes, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    No one ever left me alone. I just wanted to be QUIET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in my anger.

    I can’t tell you how many hundreds of thousands of mom’s will relate!

    But…it will get better.

    I promise.

    • July 24, 2012 at 9:12 pm

      Oh, thank goodness my mama crazy is shared. If only I had known, I would have hoarded those good drugs they gave me during childbirth for the teenage years. 😉

      • Chatter Master
        July 24, 2012 at 9:19 pm

        Oh the baby years were SO easy! 😉 I hear you! Hang in there. For real….that was a great recreation of those years. Wow….

  2. July 25, 2012 at 7:41 am

    Oh I hear you hun. I get that way too. Most of the time i know that it is time to Be Quiet. Are you saying that I might get MORE angry when my kids are teens??? NOoooooo……
    (we must get together for drinks shells. Can I call you Shells? What do the people that do not make you angry call you?) x

    • July 25, 2012 at 9:36 pm

      Oh yes, I would take one hundred toddlers on the rampage with permanent markers over one sullen teen determined to push my buttons. Sigh. You can call me anything but please not shelly-belly. These days, the people who make me angry just call me Mom. 😉 Wouldn’t drinks be lovely?

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