Home > Uncategorized > Welcome to My Pity Party (we have no cake)

Welcome to My Pity Party (we have no cake)

No one likes a whiner, so I’ll forewarn you that I’m going to be doing some whining here.  I’m feeling sorry for myself and I’m mad and hurt and I’m about to tell you all about it.  Lucky, lucky you.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I’m not a big believer in a lot of birthday hoopla, especially not for adults.  Little kids and very elderly people should have parties, but the rest of us should be pretty happy with a minimalist style birthday.  If anything, you probably should just congratulate my mom for bringing me onto this earth.  I’d like to give props to my dad, but I have a sneaking suspicion that on my actual birth day, he was watching Archie Bunker in the hospital waiting room (maybe that was my sister’s birth day.  One of us, anyway.  Back in the olden days, fathers weren’t encouraged to join in the process, you know.)  But anyway, I am down with minor birthday acknowledgements, and that’s really all I need.

Well, the day started with the world pitted against me.  I woke up with a terrible sore throat and then I had a flat tire.  I discovered the flat tire when I was driving down my road.  Okay, informal survey time.  Do people really do a walk-around and check their tires before they get in the car and drive to work?  Every day?  This is what I’m told, but I have to call bullshit on you, Hubs.  Obviously this is something I should do, but I don’t and it seems unlikely that I’m going to start now, at my advanced age.  And big whoop…so now I have a shredded tire that I have to replace.  It was already flat, so I was going to have to replace it anyway.  Right?  Right?

So anyway, I got all the drama out of the way early, then spent some quality Facebook time while I was waiting for my ride to work.  Let me tell you, my Facebook friends are awesome.  A few truly ambitious souls sent me birthday wishes at midnight and the rest of them kept my phone buzzing all day long with more sweet and thoughtful birthday wishes.  And thank goodness for them, because…(this is where you hear the ominous music)… my coworkers dropped the ball.  They didn’t even just drop it, they dropped it off a cliff, and it landed in a spectacular fireball.

Every person in my office, the people with whom I spend 50 hours of my week, forgot my birthday.  This is bad enough, but allow me to elaborate.

  1. Our company website lists everyone’s birthdays
  2. I mentioned my upcoming birthday earlier in the week
  3. I am the cake lady

Sooooo, basically, I got emails and messages from corporate people all day wishing me well.  These are people that I maybe haven’t worked directly with for years or ever met in person.  But what do I get from the people who share my air all day, every day?  Nothing but a hard time.  And it was almost as if they really were going out of their way to give me an extra hard time yesterday.  Or maybe I’m touchy.  Whatever.  Now, these are my coworkers, not my friends, not my family, just people at work.  I don’t have very high expectations, usually.  So what’s my problem?

So glad you asked.  My problem is that I remember everyone’s birthday, every year, and I bring them a special cake.  I’ve done this for years.  I do it on my time, with my money and my initiative (although it has come to be very much expected).  Because I’m freakin’ nice.  Now, I don’t think it’s too much to ask to have this kindness returned.  To maybe say, “oh hey, Shellie remembers all of our birthdays every year, so maybe we should make note of hers so we can be nice about it and not act like a bunch of thoughtless a-holes.”  (or possibly something less harsh.)

I’m torn between being done spending my time and money trying to do nice things for people who don’t do anything for me, or making delicious and beautiful cakes for them filled with laxatives (only because I don’t think Ipecac will bake well).  Mean?  Yes, maybe.  Whatever.  I know that I should do nice things for people out of the goodness of my heart, but there comes a point when it’s not being nice anymore.  Now it’s just being taken for granted and being poorly treated.  In my book, it’s never okay to allow that.

Okay, I’m probably overreacting.  My friends and my family all acknowledged my birthday and made me feel happy and special.  Those are the people who matter to me.  But, still.  I can’t get so much as a “glad you were born” from people who are going to fully expect a homemade cake of their choosing on their birthdays?  What they’re actually going to get on their birthdays is now likely to be an extra-large serving of don’t-give-a-damn.  Which is less delicious than cake.



  1. Chatter Master
    August 11, 2012 at 8:59 am

    I am so sorry they forgot your birthday. But I “liked” this post because you made me laugh. I agree with your calling ‘bullshit” (LAUGH) on husband. NO ONE does the car check but law enforcement before and after they start their shift with a cruiser.

    I hope you continue to acknowledge everyone else’s birthday. Do not bake any cakes. Your gift to them, though they won’t understand it, is you NOT making them a cake with laxative. For which they should continue to be very grateful.

    Happy belated birthday! I’m glad you were born. If you hadn’t been, I would have had two less laughs today and that makes me sad to think about.

    • August 11, 2012 at 9:17 am

      Aw, thank you so much. You’re right, my gift of no cake will be an actual gift of no poisoned cake. I think that’s fair. 🙂

      • Chatter Master
        August 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

        VERY fair! And they don’t even know it!

  2. August 11, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Well first of all, Happy Birthday! 🙂 It definitely sucks about your co-workers, and doubly so because you go out of your way to celebrate their birthdays. Maybe you could … I don’t know, bring it up? You probably don’t want to get in a fight over it, but it’s *possible* they all forgot with no malicious intent, and they just need a swift kick in the pants to remind them that they were jerks? I dunno. If you’re still feeling down, you should treat yourself to something you love — steak dinner, movie night, etc. And remember to smile! It’s your birthday week!

    • August 11, 2012 at 9:20 am

      Thank you for the birthday wishes. 🙂 I considered bringing it up, but I kind of think that if I have to remind them to be nice then it doesn’t really count. I have a vague feeling that it’s unfair of me to be that way, but I’m going with it. 😉

  3. Barb Strimple
    August 11, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Oh you are so much like your Mom, This is the true way to hold the grudge. Just remember you don’t need them to celebrate your birthday right but again do they need you and your cakes? Ha Ha We’ll see huh? Love you baby and keep celebrating.A proud mom of a wonderful lady.

    • August 11, 2012 at 9:39 am

      Thanks, Mom. Thank you for bringing me into the world, sorry about the labor pains. 😉

  4. Joy Andrews
    August 11, 2012 at 11:28 am

    I’m pretty sure there is not a person alive who wouldn’t be hurt by this. Poison cake might be a bit extreme, laxative cake would be fun, but no cake is probably what they really deserve. Maybe you could serve them up an empty plate with a note that says, “I loved the cake you made me so much that I decided to make the same kind for you this year.”

    • August 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm

      What a marvelous idea! Thank you for that…I just may do it. (nah, I’m probably too chicken, but it’s fun to think about.)

  5. August 11, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    No, no-one looks at their tires every day. That is just stupid. I think you need to cover one of your husband’s tires in hello kitty stickers and see if he notices.
    Happy Birthday! Sorry that your feelings were hurt. Next year bring your own damn cake and eat it all at your desk!

    • August 11, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      It’s funny that you say that… I have a friend who used to work here and everyone was mean and nasty to her the whole time she was here. On her last day, which no one acknowledged, I brought her a pile of cupcakes. She sat them on her desk and ate them in front of everyone all day. It was awesome.
      And about Hubs tires…it’s funny. He mentioned that one day last week his low air pressure light came on. I wonder how he missed that low tire during his pre-trip inspection?? (and why am I not the one driving the car that has that light?????)

  6. August 11, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    It was very thoughtless of your coworkers not to remember your birthday. My first thought was to make an “un” birthday cake on a day when no one has a birthday using a recipe similar to the “chocolate” pie in the book “The Help”. Serve it with the statement that you will not be making individual cakes any more, just one cake a year to honor everyone. If they ask why you aren’t having any, just say you are on a diet. But, that is a very devious way to enact “revenge” so to speak. I guess I would probably stop making individual cakes.
    About the tire thing, I like the suggestion of stickers on a tire, but make them Packer stickers. Hope things work out.

    • August 13, 2012 at 8:20 am

      I have a Packers car decal that I’ve been holding for over a year…just waiting for the right moment to sneak it onto the car. 😉

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