Home > Uncategorized > I’ll Take Mass Chaos for $100, Alex

I’ll Take Mass Chaos for $100, Alex

I’ve done it.  I have broken the spell of How It’s Made and embarked on a new television routine with Hubs.  It’s the programming of our childhood: Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy after dinner.  (It’s also possibly an indicator that we’re no longer young and hip, but let’s put a pin in that, shall we?)

I’ll say this about Wheel of Fortune.  They’re stretching.  Most of the phrases barely make sense, they’re not the well-known clichés that people could actually guess.  Also, the categories are weird and I don’t usually even understand what they mean.  As far as I’m concerned “Person” should be a proper name, not something like “Plumber.”  I like to watch it anyway, maybe because I am fascinated by the bizarre lack of aging that Vanna White displays.

It’s really about the Jeopardy.  You have to understand about Hubs.  He has this freaky well of knowledge.  He knows things that people just shouldn’t know and I have no clue how or why he knows it.  People won’t play Trivial Pursuit with him anymore, because after a while, it’s just tiresome saying, “How do you know that?!”  So watching Jeopardy with him is a high-risk proposition for my ego.  I’m a smart girl, but I’m the logic kind of smart, not the Russian history kind of smart.  So, it’s kind of rare for me to know the answers on Jeopardy, but when I do, I get really, really excited about it.  Fortunately, Hubs has not yet tired of my obnoxious Jeopardy behavior.

How to watch Jeopardy like a boss:

  • You must be present for the very beginning, because that’s where all the easy questions are.
  • If you think you know the answer, say it calmly, just like a rational person.
  • If you know you know the answer, shriek it repeatedly at top volume, just like the crazy genius that you are.
  • If someone else says the answer when you do, say it louder and then scream, “I said it first!”
  • Make repeated references to the old SNL skits with comments like “I’ll take Swords for $200” or “Your mother liked it, Trebek.”
  • When there’s a Daily Double, you must bubble over with excitement, screeching, “DAILY DOUBLE!!”
  • If your answer is wrong, accuse Alex Trebek of cheating.
  • Go do laundry or something when Final Jeopardy comes on.  No one knows those.
  • When Hubs knows the Final Jeopardy answer, ask him why he doesn’t go on Jeopardy and make us some mad cash.

I don’t think Jeopardy was actually intended to create the kind of hysteria that we have in our house when it’s on, but we’ve made it our own.  Jeopardy is not just for watching, it’s a whole interactive experience.  And if you remember some of those old SNL quotes, well, that’s all the better.

*video via YouTube.  You know, like it says on the frame.


Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,
  1. March 3, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Now I know why I need to be watching!!! 🙂

    • March 3, 2013 at 9:01 am

      It’s way more fun than it seems, if you’re willing to behave like a crazy person. I know I always am.

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