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Mmmmmm…Donuts

I’ve been on a bit of a quest lately to start cooking new things and I’m dragging Hubs along with me.  This has been good in that we’ve expanded our “we can make that” options, and also kind of bad because I find myself eating like a fat girl far more often than I find myself working out like a fit girl.

Anyway, I considered maybe starting a new blog to highlight our adventures in cooking new things, then I decided that since I barely have time to maintain this blog in a proper way, the best solution is just to mix in my cooking stories with my kid stories and general rants and raves and keep it eclectic.  So here’s our new recipe of the week.  Donuts.

It all started when Hubs turned on Good Eats.  Donuts?  And on the boy’s birthday weekend when I can justify cooking special occasion things?  Why yes, I think we will.  I said to Hubs, “We should make donuts Sunday.”  I was completely prepared for rejection.  He isn’t a huge fan of giant projects of any kind early on Sunday morning.  So, I was floored when he said, “I’ll make the donuts if you make the glaze.”  What?!  You’re going to make the dough that has to rise twice and has yeast in it if I mix milk and powdered sugar in a bowl?  Hells yeah.

I should mention here that I do not play well with yeast.  I am a notorious yeast serial killer.  I have issues with water temperature that are so severe that Fleischmann’s has taken out a restraining order.  Therefore anything made with yeast must be done by Hubs while I serve as his lovely assistant.

It started badly because of the Daylight Saving Time godforsaken theft of my hour.  In addition, we were up late Saturday night with two Mountain Dew-fueled boys determined to party like it’s 1999 in celebration of the old one-one.  So, we didn’t even get out of bed until almost eight am.  Bad news when you’re making a breakfast that’s going to take something like two hours just to prep.  Lucky for us, those boys were up far later than we were, so we shifted breakfast to brunch with one fell swoop.

We decided to double the batch.  First wrong decision.  But look, we already know that this is something that we’ll cook maybe once or twice a year, so we may as well go big.  Too many donuts?  Not a real thing, my friends.  The problem is that while too many donuts isn’t a thing, too much dough in the KitchenAid is absolutely a thing.  So the mixing process was harder than it needed to be, but we prevailed.  Gummed up every moving part of my mixer, but, by God, we made the dough.

Rise number one – wait one hour.  We wisely used this time to watch the last, then first episodes of Friends while arguing discussing who should go to Walmart to correct the horrifying toilet paper shortage (one roll.  two bathrooms.  you can see the issue.) and whether it’s acceptable to leave someone else’s child in the care of our thirteen year old.  In case you’re curious, we made do with the one roll until we could all go to Walmart, because it is, in fact, not okay to let your barely-teenage daughter babysit someone else’s kid without their express written permission, and 3/5 of the population in our home were males anyway, who require toilet paper only in very specific circumstances.

Time to roll and cut them out.  Interesting note.  I do not have a donut cutter or the correct sizes of plain round cutters to make my own donut cutter.  Happily, I do have a cocktail shaker with parts of the correct sizes.  I am certain that Alton Brown would applaud my multi-tasking creativity.  So we got so many donuts cut out and all set for the bench proof.  In the meantime we started heating a truly alarming amount of oil in the dutch oven.  Another interesting note.  If you fiddle around with the candy thermometer too much while it’s clipped to the pot, there’s a high likelihood that it will eventually fall into a pot of hot oil.  When this happens, there is a certainty that Hubs will freak the eff out about the candy thermometer that is deep-frying.  Stay calm and don’t even think about touching that hot ass thing for a good fifteen minutes.  Just fish it out with some tongs and set it aside.  All will be well.

Things got a little crazy for a while.  Hubs was frying (they go fast) and, as per our agreement, I was glazing.  Yet another note.  The amount of glaze called for on this episode of Good Eats is an outright lie.  I must have made fifteen batches of glaze, all while trying to keep pace with donuts that fry for exactly two minutes.  I felt a little like Lucy at the candy factory, but there are only so many donuts you can cram in your mouth.  (Less than one, in fact.)

All said and done, it was a success.  They were eerily similar to Krispy Kreme donuts, and really, not as much trouble as they seemed.  Now we know the pitfalls.  Single batches only, make extra glaze and try to avoid deep-frying your kitchen tools.  And buy some extra toilet paper ahead of time.

For the recipe, check out Good Eat yeast donuts.  Trust me, it’s totally worth it, all thirty-eight hours of it.

donuts

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  1. March 11, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    I am impressed! And a gold star for creativity with the cocktail shaker!

    • March 11, 2013 at 4:07 pm

      Thanks…it’s good to have a use for it. I generally find it much quicker and easier to stir my cocktails with a butter knife. 😉

      • March 11, 2013 at 4:08 pm

        I like the convenience of just opening a bottle of wine!

      • March 11, 2013 at 4:11 pm

        I can get behind that, too. 🙂

  2. March 12, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    Oh my goodness girl! You are hilarious! I’m so glad I found your blog now! I have no idea how I haven’t stumbled upon it before! I have a feeling we are related or something…you sound eerily similar to me! And, yes, those doughnuts look amazing!!!

    • March 17, 2013 at 7:56 am

      Thank you for coming by! I’m always glad to find another one of my kind…hahaha!

  3. March 13, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    They look amazing. I used to make donuts when I was a teenager (many moons ago). You have inspired me to do it again for my boys. They are freaks for donuts!

    • March 17, 2013 at 7:59 am

      Oh, I bet you will have some happy boys!

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