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From the Mouth of My Babe

I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I can talk to my kids about anything.  I have tackled every difficult and/or embarrassing topic life has to throw at us.  It’s not always easy and it’s never fun, but I do it, because it’s my job.

Until tonight.

Allow me to set the stage.  The boy and I were making dinner.  He was in charge of putting the pork meatballs onto a wonton wrapper, then I would fold it.  We had a nice little operation going.  Then he started getting bored and silly and he said the following:

“Eat my meat.”

GASP!! Remember the scene from A Christmas Story when the mom called Ralphie’s friend’s mom?  “He said WHAT?  WHATWHATWHAT??!!”

via drafthouse.com

via drafthouse.com

Now, seriously.  He just turned eleven.  He thinks fart jokes are the height of humor and laughs if someone says “balls”, but he’s not yet so vulgar as all that.  I know he was talking about the actual meat that we were actually going to cook and eat.  But still.  I couldn’t let that pass.

Me:  Don’t say that.

Boy: Don’t say what?

Me: Eat my meat.

Boy:  Why not?

Me: It’s vulgar.

Boy: What are you talking about?

Me:  HUBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Please come talk to your son!!!!

Boy: Can I say eat THE meat?  Is that better?

Me:  NO!  That is NOT better.

Hubs:  Look, if you say that and there’s no meat around, people think you’re saying something dirty.

Me:  So just don’t say it.

Boy:  Oh.  Okay.

We carry on making dumplings.  Then I hear the ghost of a whisper….

“Eat THIS meat.”

Give me strength.

  1. March 18, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Oh my. Well handled. And not surprised by the whisper. 🙂

    • March 18, 2013 at 7:39 pm

      I’m pretty sure he’ll repeat that to all his friends tomorrow… sigh.

  2. March 18, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    Well played Mom, well played.

    • March 18, 2013 at 8:04 pm

      If his sister doesn’t do me in, he surely will.

  3. March 18, 2013 at 10:35 pm

    That is so funny. My husband unfortunately has a large potty mouth. My daughter up until age 6 has not said a thing. But lately she has been testing it here and there. Once I heard her playing in her room pretend play. She was saying every dirty word she new. I was laughing inside, but at the same time thinking, “Holy Crap, now what?”

    • March 19, 2013 at 6:08 am

      Haha! Once when this boy was about four, he uttered, “What the hell is that?” It’s hard not to laugh.

  4. March 19, 2013 at 12:36 am

    Oh my, they do keep us on our toes — I love the response to call for your husband on that one!

    • March 19, 2013 at 6:09 am

      I just had to…some situations are over my head. 😉

  5. March 19, 2013 at 2:26 am

    Your writing is HILARIOUS!

    • March 19, 2013 at 6:13 am

      Thank you so much. Sometimes you can’t do anything but laugh. 😉

  6. March 19, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    Oh, this is too funny!

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