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Facebook: The Cookbook

There’s a disturbing new trend on Facebook.  I mean, more disturbing than the trend of photos demanding that you repost, or you’ll go to hell, hate your mother, and torture puppies.

via memegenerator.net

via memegenerator.net

Facebook recipes are the latest big thing.  This shit is driving me crazy.

  1. 99% of all Facebook recipes contain cream of something soup and/or are made in the crock pot.  I have an unreasonable prejudice against cream of stuff soup and if it’s not broccoli or green bean casserole and it’s not Thanksgiving, it makes me gag.  Also, I have crock pot issues that can be further explored here.
  2. All of my Facebook friends like the same recipes.  There are only so many times I need to see a recipe for stuffed zucchini.  (The number of times is actually zero.)
  3. There are a lot of weird shortcuts and ingredients.  I keep seeing a frosting recipe made with instant pudding.  That’s not frosting, that’s pudding.  If you like pudding on  your cake, I don’t blame you, but don’t pretend it’s frosting.  Let’s keep it real.
  4. The good ones are lost in the cream of crock pot shuffle.  There are some good ideas out there.  Please stop reposting the damn crock pot lasagna recipe so that I will notice the lemon berry cake.
  5. This direct quote shows up on many recipes:  “If you want to “SAVE” this recipe then be sure to click “SHARE” so it saves the recipe to your photo album on your page for future reference!”  No, no, no, NO.  If you want to save the recipe, the best way do to that is to write it down, print it, or, you know, actually just save it to your computer.  If you want to share it, that’s when you click “share.”  Isn’t it funny how words work?  (Helpful hint, it’s not necessary to share every recipe.)

I implore you all to keep the recipes in their place.  I love a good recipe as much as the next guy, but the day that I need assembly instructions for a trifle (the definition of which may actually be: delicious things thrown into a large bowl) is the day I just hang up my whisk.  Let’s maintain the integrity of Facebook and save our reposts for cat pictures, Dos Equis guy memes and my blog posts.  (You know you want to.)

  1. st sahm
    April 8, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Double and triple like. I hide everyone on fb who posts recipes or food photos.

    • April 8, 2013 at 11:18 am

      I’m with you. I’m pretty sure this kind of thing is what Pinterest is for. All these recipes interfere with good, old-fashioned Facebook stalking.

  2. April 9, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    you’re not southern are you? cream of mushroom or cream of chicken or sour cream or whipping cream literally makes up 2/3 of my repertoire.

    • April 9, 2013 at 3:31 pm

      You know, I used to be that way, but I guess I reached my cream of quota. I do still keep sour cream & whipping cream close at hand. And cream cheese, butter & crisco. 🙂

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