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Stop Laughing and Clean up My Mess

I’m annoyed right now.

Here’s the short version on what has kept my away from my blog recently.  My house was stinky.  I don’t mean regular stinky, I mean that special kind of something has died or someone has pooped in a corner kind of stinky.  My husband ventured into the crawl space under the house to investigate.  (For this, he has earned a permanent title of the best/bravest/most fearless husband in all the land.  I would not go under there to fetch a million dollars, especially if I had to crawl through a flood of funk.  It was a very Shawshank Redemption moment.)  We had a broken drain pipe.  What this means is that all water going down the drains in the sinks, tubs, dishwasher, washing machine and garbage disposal (gasp!) was under my house.  It was putrid.  It was repulsive.  It made ladies faint and children cry.

via moviequotesandmore.com

via moviequotesandmore.com

So, while the broken pipe itself was a pretty easy fix, we still had a mess under the house that was just shy of toxic.  So we called in the big guns.  Professional cleaning service.  They came right out and proceeded to clean out the most awful, disgusting mess that I’ve seen since the time my baby daughter’s diaper leaked right up her back and got into her hair.  The worst of it was handled the first couple of days.  Today they’re under there finishing up and they’ve got a huge crew under my house to do it.  So, why am I so annoyed?

There are two girls under there who will not shut the hell up.  And they must be a couple of comedians, because every muffled word I hear is accompanied by shrill giggling.  It’s making me a little bit crazy.  First, I am trying to focus on catching up on my recorded episodes of Chopped and they’re louding.  Second, I have concerns about how much they’re focused on my crawl space because it sounds more like a slumber party’s worth of twelve-year-old girls under there.  Granted, digging contaminated dirt from under my house probably doesn’t require that much concentration, but still.  Here’s my take on the situation.

This company is being well-paid to provide a service at my  house.  They should do so in a professional and unobtrusive way.  I am home.  My neighbors are home.  We should not be disturbed by a bunch of noise just because I had a broken pipe.  I understand the need to sometimes cut loose at work.  It breaks tension and passes the time and makes what must be a really awful job seem a little better.    I get all that, but it’s still irritating.  I mean, I’m already annoyed that the plumbing in this house has failed so catastrophically.  I’m annoyed that I can’t use my washer or dryer because they need my laundry room plugs for their under-house drying machines.  I’m irritated that this has already taken a week and we’re not done yet.  It bothers me that I don’t feel free to use my own bathroom because I know a bunch of strangers will hear my toilet flush and know what I’m doing.  I don’t think it’s so much to ask to not have to listen to a giggle fest under my feet  on my day off.

I know I should be grateful for them.  If left to our own devices with that crawl space, our best option would have been to just put the house on the market and sell it as-is.  It was really beyond the scope of what regular people are equipped to handle.  But when I hire professionals, I really, really want them to be professional.  I want them to be sober and somber and distant.  I do not want to have a conversation with you about my cat or your upcoming career change.  I don’t want to hear your conversations while you’re two feet under my floor.

I want you in and out as quickly as possible.  Quietly.

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