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School’s Out ForEVAHHHHHH

Okay, not really forever.  School is out for summer break, though.  Technically Friday was the last day of school, but since I stopped caring about anything school related on the day the last test was taken, I didn’t make them go on the last day.  I figure, if the teachers tell them not to come, they who am I to be concerned about attendance.

Our day-to-day routine during summer break is not really that different from the school year, though.  Since I did not have the foresight to get a job that provides a summer break of any kind, I still get up every morning and go to work.  Since I believe in sharing the beauty of the pre-dawn start of a new day, I continue to wake my children at the same time as a school day.  Cruel, I know.  (I’m not snickering about this at all, I assure you.)  I go to work, they go spend the day somewhere, I pick them up after work, then we do it all again the next day.  Pretty standard stuff.

via memecrunch.com (kittens are cute)

via memecrunch.com (kittens are cute)

However, I would be lying if I didn’t say that summer break does provide some relief.  For the kids, sure, but I’m talking about me, here.  Here are some of the dreadful and terrible things that I will not have to do for three glorious months.

  • Homework.  Don’t act like I don’t have to do homework.  I have to help with homework, I have to check homework, I have to sign homework and everysingledamnday I have to remind the children to do their homework.  So.  No homework.  That’s a big load off, since I had long believed that I was done with homework, you know, when I stopped going to school.
  • Remember things.  Look, I have enough on my mind without having to remember who needs a poster board, when the science project is due and when I’m supposed to send money for a field trip.  Since my children barely remember to put on shoes each morning, they rely on me far too much to remember these things.  And while I realize that forgetting to pay for the field trip would spare me a morning of getting up at 4am to take a kid on a field trip, I’m not quite that far gone yet.  Give me a couple more years.
  • Hear the latest school horror stories.  The stuff my kids tell me about school terrify me.  The things middle schoolers are getting up to during school hours far surpasses anything I ever did, let alone before I hit my teens.  I don’t want to know about eighth grade mothers, I don’t want to hear about drinking at school, I don’t want to hear about fights where shoes get thrown… okay, I do want to hear that last one, because it is a pretty entertaining story.  The other stuff, though, nah.  It’s enough that I have to know that it happens, it’s too much for my brain to process to hear my own baby telling me about it.
  • Worry about my reputation.  Okay, this is not something that I ever do too terribly much, especially since I seem to specialize in making enemies at the schools.  However, I do need to worry about the things I say being repeated.  I have the dangerous combination of a lack of brain-to-mouth filter and a child with no discretion whatsoever.  Things get repeated.  Often.  And they are nearly always the things I should never have said out loud in the first place.
  • Buy mechanical pencils.  I’m going to tell you, I am so damn sick and tired of mechanical pencils that I could cry.  Literally.  My son apparently not ever realized that these are not one-time-use disposable instruments and field strips the little suckers as soon as they run out of lead.  Therefore, I buy mechanical pencils like it’s my job.  I don’t buy them while I’m at the store, though, oh no.  I buy them at 9:30 on a Wednesday night when someone realizes that we have NOT ONE PENCIL IN THE HOUSE.  I once sent my kid to school with a stubby pencil that I found in my car left over from mini-golf.  Don’t judge.

So, we may still get up early and go places and do nothing terribly special in our daily routine, I still breathe a massive sigh of relief when I lay my hands on those final report cards.  And I swear, next year, we will do better.  We will stockpile pencils and supplies.  We will have mandatory homework time in a designated homework place.  I will have thought-provoking conversations about the troubles of today’s youth.  I will not swear when I talk about school policies.  I will have a family calendar noting all important dates.

I won’t do any of those things, though.  And I just have three short months to try to stockpile enough sanity to get me through another school year.  I don’t like my odds.

  1. June 2, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    I have to buy mechanical pencils because people steal them from me at work. Hardly as stressful, but I felt the need to make someone aware of my pencil woes.

    I hope you have a great summer with the kids!

    • June 4, 2013 at 7:02 pm

      I don’t know…work pencils seem even more stressful, since work rarely provides a pencil-free summer break. 😉

  2. June 5, 2013 at 11:52 am

    Oh lord I envy you. I have until July 26th. That is like FOREVER in homework terms! I am so completely *done* with homework. I am done with sending them to school in matching socks even. This morning my youngest had on two wildly different socks with her prescribed *school Uniform, mind. I said, ya know, you do have matching socks upstairs…she said meh and I said meh, and out the door she went! Enjoy the summer!

    • June 16, 2013 at 11:08 am

      July 26th!! Gosh, that’s only a couple week before we start school again. I’m with you, though, I’m totally done by the end of April. We just coast in from there.

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