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Father’s Day Gifts

I feel that I should explain myself and my absence.  My work schedule has changed again and since I crave routine more than newborn babies, it’s an adjustment.  I’ve been a bit scattered.  I spend my newfound Saturdays doing ridiculous things like grocery shopping and house cleaning instead of important tasks like blogging.  I need to get my priorities straight, I know.

But anyhow, here we are at Father’s Day and with it comes the anguish of shopping for a Father’s Day gift.  My dad is notoriously hard to buy for.  I don’t mean he’s picky, because he’s not.  He’s just one of those guys who goes out and buys something if he wants it, or if he doesn’t, it’s something so complicated and foreign to his daughters that we have to hire an engineer and fire up the  GPS just to find it in the hardware store.  And while my father would be completely content with a card and a heartfelt “Happy Father’s Day,” we all know that isn’t going to cut it for a devoted kid such as myself.  I’m reminded of the many times in my youth when he would tell me, “just write me a poem.”  (I did such things before the world broke my spirit and wearied my soul.)  That sounded like total nonsense at the time, of course, but now I find myself telling my daughter to draw me a picture for Mother’s Day.  The circle of life, you know.

So, I was finally able to find a satisfactory gift, but even the finest gift still doesn’t cut it.  On this Father’s Day, I think of all the gifts that my dad has given me over the years and there is nothing that I can give him that properly says “Thank You.”  .  So, since I don’t have the capacity to write a decent poem at my bitter and advanced age, here’s a blog for you, Daddy.

Thank you for the many things you gave me….

(did you just sing that in your head?  If not, go read it again.  Sing it this time.  Thank you.)

  • The art of bullshit.  I possess no life skill greater than this one.  It has served me in my personal life, as a mother and, most often, in my professional life.  If you can’t wow them with knowledge, dazzle them with bullshit.
  • Never say “I don’t know.”  If you don’t know, then go learn it.  And act like you knew it all along.
  • Teaching me how to drive a manual transmission.  Although my mom cars of the past decade have all been automatic, one day these children of mine will go away and I can get a sweet little sports car and I will know how to drive it.  I would also thank you for teaching me all the mechanics of how an engine operates, but I think we both know that I wasn’t really paying attention to that part, so just know that I appreciate the effort.
  • Being old-fashioned enough to teach me that men are supposed to put air in the tires.  We may not always agree on all gender roles, but I’ve always been with you on this.  That speech that you gave me approximately 21 years ago about the dangers of overinflating a tire has never left me, and to this day I have never once put air in a tire.  I have you, a husband, and a son, so the way I figure it, I can live my whole life without doing this.
  • We got jokes.  No matter how serious things get, there’s always something to laugh at.  I can’t even imagine the state of my blood pressure if I had not learned this at a young age.
  • All boys need to be beaten with a stick.  Okay, maybe not all boys, but certainly any of the ones my sister or I ever dated.  You taught us early on to take no shit from a boy.  That’s a pretty big deal for a young girl.  Sometimes, though, our husbands might wonder if you taught this lesson a little too well…
  • Always be on high alert.  Someone might jump around a corner at you.  Someone might grab your hand in a dark room.  Growing up like that was kind of like living in a Halloween haunted house, but it’s given me a great foundation for scaring the crap out of my own children.
  • Being Papa.  There’s no greater gift that you and mom could give me than being there for my children.  It’s a wonderful gift for them to have you guys around so much.  And if you spoil them a bit too much sometimes, well, that’s your job.  I’m just saying, I don’t remember getting paid when I mowed your grass back in the day.  Just…saying…

There’s more, of course there’s more.  But since I made rash and foolish promises about baking Father’s Day cookies for Hubs, so I just simply don’t have that kind of time, so I’ll sum up.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.  We love you and we are thankful to have you.



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  1. June 16, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Brilliant man who gave you all of that!

    • June 16, 2013 at 2:30 pm


  2. June 16, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    I am certain there is no better gift he could have asked for than this one!

    • June 16, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      Thank you…so sweet.

  3. June 18, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Now that’s a Father’s day gift money CAN’T buy…Great.

    • June 18, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      Aw, thank you. 🙂

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