Home > Uncategorized > That’s Me in the Corner

That’s Me in the Corner

Sundays are great.  Sundays I go to church and I come home feeling hopeful and renewed and ready to take on this fierce world with dignity and grace.

Then Monday comes.  Monday is the beginning of a long and exhausting week in a spiritual abyss where even a shred of morality that may dare to show itself is pounced upon and destroyed.  That’s right, the beginning of the work week.  My job is not uplifting.  Goodness is not applauded, in fact, oftentimes it’s just the opposite.  We often say, in jest, that the job kills our spirit, but in all reality, it kind of does.  We get tired way down deep in our souls and we’re surrounded by gloom and hopelessness.

losingmyreligion

I know, you suspect I’m being dramatic.  I am not.  It’s bad, it’s really, really bad.  For a long time I thought that if I were to grow spiritually that I would have to get out of there.  Now, I don’t want to imply that I don’t still want to get out of there, but God has shown me a different approach.  I accomplish nothing by running away from it.  I am called to bring something better to the workplace.  I have to hold tight to my Sunday attitude every day, no matter how much the world tries to break me.  And, oh, how it tries to break me.

So every day is my challenge.  Every day I find myself getting pulled away from the light and I fight.  I fight hard.  I catch myself before I say something nasty.  I turn the other cheek.  I look on the bright side.  Okay, so I say I do all these things and sometimes I do, but other times I fail and I do allow some of that ugliness to grab me.  It’s not easy.  But I can’t just give up and give in.  I have to keep trying to let the light in.  I have to be compassionate, even if someone might be lying to be.  I have to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I have to try to do better, because I am better, I am a child of God and it’s my duty to reflect that light on every place and every person around me.  Because that might make every place and every person better, too.

It’s hard to walk in the shadows every day and not get swallowed up in it.  It takes a conscious effort every single minute.  Is it this hard for every Christian?  I don’t know, but I suspect so.  We all live in a world filled with shadows and we all keep trying to do better.  One day someone referred to me as a “good Christian woman.”  Friends, I must be doing something better.

handovermymouth

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