Home > Uncategorized > What Had Happened Was…

What Had Happened Was…

So a few months ago I tried to revive this blog and after a stilted and stunted few posts, I threw in the towel.  What had happened was…I broke my laptop.  I was sitting at the computer desk in the office typing like a regular person.  Friends, regular person behavior is not conducive to the creative process.  Not my kind of creative process, anyway.  Besides which, while I was stewing in my creative juices, the children were hanging on me, waiting to hijack the computer for such important ventures as Call of Duty and YouTube video watching.  Anywho…here I am for another shot at it, because my kind and generous Hubs got overly excited by tax-free school shopping and bought me a nifty little Chrome Book for my birthday.  When I attempted to decline, he said, “You can blog.  You NEED that.”

Oh dear.  I’m going crackers and I can’t even hide it anymore.  Okay, then.  I get a fun new toy and here I am all slouched in my chair-and-a-half with my feet propped up and my dog sleeping ten inches away from my head.  Which is a relief, actually, but I’ll get into that in a minute.  The point is, I’m comfy and happy and ready to jump back into this poor, long-neglected blog.  I still regularly encounter things and think, “I should write about that.”  Then I don’t and all those piles of irony and ridiculous just build up inside my head and make me do things like roast chicken breasts for eighteen hours.  (True story. No one got chicken salad on that sad day.)

Okay, so you’re no doubt wondering why it’s a relief that the dog is ten inches from my head.  The short answer is because she spends so much time zero inches from my head.  Allow me to elaborate.

These guys...

These guys…

We have four pets now, three cats and the dog.  The kitten sleeps with my daughter, praise the Lord, because she creates drama and conflict of some kind with every other creature in this house.  That leaves two cats and a dog.  Plus two generously sized adult people.  All sleeping in ONE bed.  They have not yet made a bed large enough to hold all of us comfortably, but if that weren’t enough, here’s the rub (ha).  Each of the animals feels as though they must be touching me in order to sleep.  Squeaky, my elderly cat, has spent many years sleeping beside my shoulder, occasionally curled up in my armpit, or any time she can get away with it, draped across my throat like a living scarf.  Cheese, the antisocial cat, doesn’t care for me that much, but completely adores Squeaky, therefore he sleeps against my leg, or on my feet, if I would just be still for a minute.  They are both on the edge of the bed, so if, God forbid, I need to get up, I literally have to wade through a field of cats, because let me tell you, once they’re comfortable, they are NOT moving.  Until recently, Penny has been content to sleep at the foot of the bed between Hubs and I.  Slightly annoying, since I can’t move my feet, but since Cheese is known to bite things which annoy him, I’ve learned to keep my feet still anyway.  But since Penny is the Pretty Pretty Princess of dogs and thereby entitled to only the best of all things in life, she has taken to sneaking onto my pillows after I fall asleep.  So pretty much every day I awaken wearing a pug hat.  I cannot describe the discomfort this has created in my neck and shoulder.  I mean, she’s not a delicate creature.  I’m wearing a 25 lb hat every night.

It is not like this AT ALL

It is not like this AT ALL

All of these things have caused me to legitimately start dreading bedtime and I can’t figure out what to do about it.  I can move them, but they just move back the minute I drift off to dreamland.  Some of you may be wondering why I don’t just close the bedroom door, with the animals on the outside.  Those of you who wonder that have never experienced the chaos and cacophony three jilted pets can create.  I mean, I went on vacation for one week and Squeaky puked on everything I own.  And you want me to kick her out of the bed?  My God, I’d have to sleep with one eye open.

So, I’ve got that going on.  In addition to that, I took a personality test and discovered that I’m INFJ-T.  Apparently that means that I don’t like to talk to people and I’m empathetic.  Things I already knew, so I’m not sure what I had hoped to learn from that.  I’m also spending my last day in my thirties today, and praying in earnest that my forties will be better because the last decade has nearly done me in and I’ve taken just about all I can.  On that note, my pastor preached on the New Covenant and God’s grace today and I’m looking forward to finding some alone time to reflect on that.  It’s pretty darn exciting for me, because as hard as I may try, I am not good enough on my own and I desperately need Jesus.  (I’ve been told that on more than one occasion by a coworker, but that’s probably not the way she meant it.  My work environment tends to bring out the unholy in me.  I’m working on that.)


But at the moment, my family is getting ready to make me some beefy cheesy chimichangas for my birthday, there’s chocolate lasagna waiting for dessert, and I have gotten some words out of my head.  Also, the dog isn’t on my head.  Life is sweet.


PS, I just realized that I included the titles of two old-school Natalie Merchant songs in this post.  Do you see them?

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,
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  1. August 13, 2015 at 9:31 pm

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