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Shrinkage

January 23, 2016 1 comment

Lately, I feel short.

I’m not short, in fact, I’m plenty tall for a lady.  Also, I’m usually wearing heels because I enjoy being even taller.  But all these facts don’t change the simple fact that I can’t reach anything anymore.

At first, I suspected my husband was to blame.  He is a good bit taller than me, and tends to put things higher and further back on shelves than they really need to be.  After all, he’s not going to have to climb onto a chair to reach the brown sugar, now, is he?  Of course, he’s exponentially less likely to be the one to need to reach the brown sugar, so this seems like a dirty trick.  He, of course, denies any shelf conspiracy.  Realistically, I have to acknowledge that my shelves, in fact, are exactly the same height they’ve always been, and all the things I store on them are still the same, so there’s something else at play.

Then I thought, maybe it’s just a perspective issue.  My son recently had an alarming growth spurt and he’s inching up on me in a disarming way.  It’s one thing to know that your kid will eventually be taller than you, but it’s a whole other thing to watch it happening.  So I am feeling shorter since I don’t get to properly tower over my children any more and literally have to contort my baby to kiss the top of his head.  But, no.  That’s an issue, to be sure, but it doesn’t explain why I can’t reach things.

Then it happened.  I was in the grocery store alone and I needed something on the top shelf.  I suddenly remembered all the times ladies in the grocery store have asked Hubs to get something of the top shelf for them and I thought how sweet it was of him to help the poor tiny short ladies.  What the world.  When did I become a poor tiny little short lady?  I, of course, not being the type to ask for help, managed to get my groceries, but not without a good bit of effort that probably caused no shortage of entertainment on the security video.

It’s now clear to me what’s happening.  I’m shrinking.  I don’t know what witchcraft is at play, but I surely do wish that if someone had cursed me to be smaller, it would be more in the area of the waistline.  Just can’t catch a break…

short

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2015: the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year.

January 2, 2016 Leave a comment

2015 was a pretty beastly year for me.  I struggled through a vague and undefined funk most of the year, filled with discontent and the idea that I needed to do more.  More that matters, more that makes a difference to people.  Less laundry.  It has been suggested to me that the low-key depression has something to do with having celebrated my fortieth birthday and beginning to keenly feel the passage of time.  Whatever.

Truth is, I do feel like the years are ganging up on me and slapping me around a little.  I can now count on one hand the years until my youngest will be fleeing the nest and I can’t even bear to think of how short a time I have left with my oldest.  And I’m not very sure I have used the time I was given very wisely.  So, it’s probably time for some changes, none of which I have worked out yet.

In any case, life does go on, and 2015 brought many lessons, as life will do.  Without further ado (or babbling), here are the top ten bits of wisdom that 2015 gave me.

  1. Extend grace.  The more I extend grace to others, the less anger and discontent I have to carry. Everyone is dealing with a thing.
  2. If a homeless kitten finds her way to you, take her home.  She may be an incredible nuisance at times, eat aluminum foil, ride the dog like a horse, and try to live in the shower, but that’s a lot better to live with than the knowledge that you could have saved an animal, and didn’t.
  3. Regardless of what is going on with your eyeliner situation, or lack thereof, don’t be tempted to borrow your teenager’s liquid liner.  She has a steady hand and a lot of patience.  You’re late for work and about to look like a panda.
  4. Most of your daily stresses can be easily dismissed with one of two phrases.  “Not my problem.” and “No one cares.”  Warning, this will not win you any friends at work, but when you have a certain level of job security and the vague feeling that getting fired might be a blessing in disguise, you gain a glorious feeling of freedom.
  5. When your dog wants to sit in your lap and have a nap, make time to sit down and let the dog have a nap.  No one else loves you like your dog, people, and besides, if she doesn’t get her lap nap, there’s an excellent chance that she’ll repay you with poop on the floor.
  6. Counting to ten to manage your anger is a lot more effective if you sing the Sesame Street counting song in your head.  Granted, they count to twelve, but it’s a lot more likely to make you forget what made you angry.
  7. If someone calls you out on your funk and you really, really don’t want to talk about it, “I’m just tired” is an acceptable answer.  Because you probably are tired. Tired of a whole lot of crap.  And people like me don’t always want to talk about their feelings.  We just want to figure out how to fix them, and we’ll do that inside our own heads, thankyouverymuch.
  8. No one really and truly cares about how clean the floors are.  (refer to number 4.)  Stop worrying about it and do something fun.
  9. There’s a certain kind of person who always wants to do things for others.  To the detriment of her own health and well being.  Just say no.  No, no, no, I cannot do any more for you, I have nothing more to give you.  Just, no.  Trust me, it’s great.  You have absolutely no obligation to do things just because people want you to do them.  Especially when those same people would never do anything for you.
  10. Understand about seasons of life.  Everything that we go through shall pass, both the good and the bad.  When you’re going through a difficult or uncertain season, you must understand that it’s meant to ready you for something new.  Something greater than what you have now.  Something more.

things to let go of happiness

At my last doctor visit, my doctor asked me how life was going, and what I had going on to look forward to.  (He’s got some borderline obsession with my state of mind, it’s almost as if he can see all the crazy hiding right behind my eyes.  I mean, seriously.  I was there because I had a bad cough and this is what we had to talk about.)  I really didn’t have any answer for him.  So that’s my resolution for 2016.  I’m going to get something to look forward to.  Then I’m going to do it.  Then I’m going to get something else.

Life is way too short for all this laundry I’ve been doing.

 

author’s note:  Wordpress has changed their format a tiny bit and right now at this moment, I cannot find the spellcheck.  So….sorry about the typos that are undoubtedly right there where I can’t see them.