Posts Tagged ‘trust’

A Word of Advice

October 9, 2015 Leave a comment

I am absolutely horrible at graciously accepting advice.  Okay, perhaps that’s strongly worded.  I will accept it graciously.  I will thank you for it.  I might even, on occasion, tell you that I followed it.

These are all lies and deceptions.  I do not accept advice well.  I follow advice much more poorly.  I just don’t want to appear rude and ungrateful.  There have been occasions in my life when I have received good and valuable advice.  Each and every time, that advice came from someone who had full and intimate knowledge of my situation and had walked in my shoes at some point in their life.  That’s really when the advice is the good stuff.  Everyone else is just talking out of their backside.


The thing is, I am a very, very reserved person.  I build walls and isolate myself.  The things inside my heart and my mind are buried better than cash in a mayonnaise jar in the backyard.  There is a circle of people who know me, I mean truly know my life and my heart, but that circle could fit inside a hula hoop with room left to hula.  The rest of the well-meaning souls who attempt to offer me help and guidance simply do not know me.  You do not really know me, so therefore, you cannot understand what it is to walk my path.  Therefore, you cannot help me navigate.

Also, I am an extremely cautious person.  I do not make decisions quickly or lightly.  I just do not do spontaneous.  So when I have a situation, (and isn’t there always a situation?)  I have thought it through long and carefully.  I have done the research.  I have prayed on it.  I have weighed the pros and cons.  I have consulted mediums and card readers.  Well, not quite, but close.  The point is that I have approached this situation from every possible angle.  Perhaps it’s egotistical and closed-minded of me, but I have trouble believing that your quick advice is going to trump my long and careful consideration.  Odd are, I have already thought of that.  Not because I’m so clever, but because I’ve been turning every angle of this situation over in my mind for a month before anyone else even knew there was a situation.

Lastly, I do not take direction well.  This is, perhaps, putting it mildly.  My particular brand of this affliction is so severe that the most effective way to make sure I will never watch one minute of a movie is to tell me how great it is and how much I will love it.  Well, you can’t tell me what to do, so there.  I realize that this is neither an attractive nor beneficial trait, but as I often tell my children, it’s important for each of us to recognize and embrace our shortcomings.  So, you cannot tell me what to do. Nyah nyah.

So, please.  If I’m talking about a situation, understand that I’m just talking.  Depending on the situation of the day and our relationship, I might be venting, thinking out loud or just simply sharing a piece my life.  I invite you to commiserate, laugh, share similar experiences and vent back.  But in the end, I’m just talking.  I’m not asking for anything.  I don’t need anything.  I’ve got this.  I’ve always got this, even when my life looks like a bubbling, hot mess.  I’m going to figure it out and I’m going to do it by following the only things that I trust.  My heart and my gut.



Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

January 28, 2012 Leave a comment

I am a fearless woman, spiders, snakes and mice, notwithstanding.  There’s not a lot in life that scares me and I’m pretty darn sure that I can do any old thing that I choose to do.  I have a pretty good handle on life and I am a good judge of the times we should be afraid and avoid danger and the times we’re just being silly.  If you’ll allow me to toot my own horn a bit more, I daresay that I’m rarely silly.  (About fear, anyway.  I’m almost always silly about everything else.)

Enter the roller coaster. (cue the Psycho music)

In recent years,  we finally deemed the kids old enough to have a good time at an amusement park.  I know we’re pretty late in the game for this kind of thing, because I know for a fact that people routinely take small children and toddlers to, Disney World, for example, and have a lovely vacation.  That’s not our bag.  Amusement parks are for one thing and one thing only.  Roller coasters.  (Also, I’m fairly certain I have the only children on earth who turn up their noses at all things Disney.  We passed this along on the DNA with my bad temper and hubby’s blue eyes.)  So, we held off on the amusement parks until the kiddos were old enough to ride some good rides.  Once we hit that magical time, we packed it up and carted our young’uns off to the amusement park, where I was in for a horrible discovery.

These people have a death wish.

Friends and faithful readers, I don’t like roller coasters anymore.  In fact, they SCARE me.  GASP!!!

I have an analytical mind and I simply can’t let something like this pass without a period of painstaking and methodical self-assessment.  Here’s what I learned about myself.  Some bizarre marriage of cynicism and the awareness of widespread poor work ethics has convinced me that roller coasters are not safe and anyone who rides them will end up dead or maimed, thanks to a lazy engineer or a safety inspector who was late for lunch.  I am a mother!  I can’t take those kinds of risks!  And while my children aren’t having any part of the roller coasters, either, I rode one with my nephew (I believe he was nine at the time) and it was more stress than my poor heart can take.  I didn’t show it, I swear, but I held his hand in a vice grip the entire time, convinced that, in the inevitable event that someone’s safety harness failed, I had damn well better have a hand on that child.  Just in case.

I know this is not logical or rational but what it really comes down to is trust.  Do I trust the people who design, build and maintain the roller coasters to keep me safe?  No, not really.  Why on earth not?  I trust airplanes and cars (to a certain degree).  The only conclusion I can draw is that somewhere in the recesses of my twisty little mind I assume that because these things are built purely for fun, they must not be as serious about safely.  Shhhhh!  I know that’s not true!  I KNOW.   But knowing in my head isn’t the same as knowing in my gut and my gut tells me NO. NO ROLLER COASTERS.

It’s been sad, this reluctant goodbye with those twisty turns and sudden drops.  It’s also been difficult for me to come to terms with my new fraidy-cat status.  As a matter of fact, I don’t think I actually have come to terms with it.  I have had some vague and unformed plan of avoiding amusement parks until…forever, but it now occurs to me that that’s stupid and cowardly and any fearless and badass girl such as me would go back and show those roller coasters WHAT’S UP.  Soooo, who’s up for a trip to Busch Gardens this spring?  I have a score to settle.

(If you don’t get the title, you need to know that The Big Bad Wolf was THE roller coaster in my day. Sonny.)

Photo swiped from Thanks, Google!