Word To Your Mother

That’s not a clever play on words.  I’m actually here to talk about Vanilla Ice.

Now, while, Queen’s “Under Pressure” may be one of my all time favorite songs, I don’t want to talk about that.  It’s a completely different thing, after all, Vanilla Ice added the “ting” at the end.  Anyway.  I was gifted with the joy of Ice, Ice, Baby this morning on the radio and I thought to myself, “Has there ever been a more glorious example of self promotion?”  We could all stand to learn something from Mr. Van Winkle, not the least of which is the wisdom of changing your last name from “Van Winkle” to “Ice.” 

Let’s examine this gem more closely, shall we?

Way to rock the shaving accident gone horribly wrong. http://www.telegraph.co.uk

He opens with the following.  No timidity here, and no hesitation.  This is clearly a man ready and willing to take control of any situation.

“Alright, stop. Collaborate and listen.” 

Bonus points for using “collaborate,” even though it makes little actual sense in the context.  Not long after that powerful opener, we’re told that “Anything less than the best is a felony.”  Let’s ponder that for a moment.  Mediocrity is not a shame, a waste or even a crime.  It’s a FELONY.  This dude is willing to do hard time if he gives us anything less than the best.  And we should proceed with caution, because his best is also “killing our brain like a poisonous mushroom.”  In fact, if you turn out the lights, he’ll GLOW.   To the extreme, he rocks the mic like a vandal.  He’s so cool, he doesn’t even need to make sense.  But, never fear, if there was a problem, yo, he’ll solve it.

I honestly can’t tell you how much I love this song, and I’m betting anyone from my generation feels the same, although many aren’t willing to admit it.  It takes me back to my teenage years in one fell swoop.  I know it’s cheesy and stupid, but I always sing along, don’t you?  Let’s stop being ashamed of the stupid things that bring us small joys and embrace them.  Let there be no guilty pleasure.  Just own the things that make you smile.  Word to your mother.